'Your role is to make our life easier': Wealthy Couple Brings Nanny on Vacation, Expecting 24/7 Availability Because They Paid Her Flight

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  • 01
    Posted by u/Assholezconnoisseur 2 days ago AITA for not letting our nanny leave for a date during our vacation?
  • 02
    My wife and I had our first child last year and it's been quite an intense few months. My wife has been on an extended 'maternity leave' but on top of that we've also hired a nanny/maid to assist us with the baby as well as keep the house in order. She stays in our guest house.
  • 03
    To celebrate our anniversary I planned for us to take a trip by ourselves just to reconnect and give her some proper time away from the our son. She was excited about leaving but was slightly concerned about leaving our son behind (her mother was going to come down and babysit with the nanny). Trying
  • 04
    to ease things I asked the nanny if she'd be willing to come along with us on our trip and take care of the baby - stressing that this was supposed to be our couple vacation so most of the childcare will be hers and more than usual. She jumped at the idea and so I also arrange her ticket and accomodation (to be clear she was also paid extra for the 'overtime').
  • 05
    The trip was a week long and our arrangement was going quite well at first. My wife was relaxed, we reconnected and our son was close by for whenever we missed him. We would take our son and give her a break either in the mornings or afternoons. On our last day she asked if we could take the night shift as she'd met someone who'd asked her on a date.
  • 06
    Besides that going against our arrangement (the point was to give us a break from the sleepless nights), I'd already paid and planned an intimate date on the beach with my wife for our last night. It became a bit of an issue with her trying to guilt my wife and saying we were being unfair but by the end of it, we didn't give in and she looked after the kid.
  • 07
    Upon returning my wife heard her on the phone saying that she was thinking of quiting over all of this and that we were blocking her future so here we are.
  • 08
    Wife thinks we made a mistake, I don't disagree that it might've been assholish but ultimately it was our arrangement and she was paid extra for it. Are we the ?
  • 09
    Edit: the post has been up for 12 hours at the time of writing this and this is the first time checking in since the first hour due to life but I just wanted to clarify some things I've seen come up.
  • 10
    1. She got paid double her usual daily rate. Since she has consistent our daily we just refer to it as daily rate where she 'works' 8 hours. So we paid her for 16 hours of work daily.
  • 11
    2. Our expectations were very clearly expressed to her and she agreed that it wouldn't be a problem.
  • 12
    Depending on our plans, some times we took mornings and sometimes we took afternoons but on any given day it was one of the two. This was also preplanned since our trip had an itinerary. Each of these breaks averaged about 5 hours and that excludes the spontaneous breaks whenever we missed him and prepared him for bed.
  • 13
    Also this assumption that my wife and I can't and don't take care of our child is silly. The nanny is there only to assist whenever my wife needs to nap/rest. My wife takes care of most of the childcare and I step in when I get back from work. Most of her [maids] work is housework. My wife is staying in home because of her traumatic birth which had complications she's still recovering from. She fully plans on returning to work when she's fit and our child is old enough.
  • 14
    ● thirdtryisthecharm 2 days ago. edited 2 days ago Sultan of Sphincter [681] I.N.F.O. YTA It's a week-long vacation. What day(s) does she get off? Or how are you compensating her for working 7 days a week?
  • 15
    You are parents 24/7. She is only a nanny for the hours you pay for. You needed to specifically negotiate what hours you are paying for here in advance, not just expect her to be available, and I'm unclear if that happened. ↑ 10.6k Reply Share
  • 16
    redrummaybe54 - 2 days ago Partassipant [1] What's doing it for me, is the fact that he booked a week long vacation and left their nanny to watch the kid for basically the entire week with only a few hours off each day.
  • 17
    Buddy is only bonding with his kid a few hours each day 4 6.3k Reply Share
  • 18
    Amazing_Cabinet1404 2 days ago At their whim with no apparent notice....so nanny was just on call 24/7 4 3.5k Reply
  • 19
    FuckUGalen 2 days ago Pooperintendant [65] I would never leave my child in the 24/7 care of non parent with basically no break for a week, and then deny them a night off. But then that is why OP is YTA 1.2k Reply Share
  • 20
    ● ToqueMom 2 days ago These are clearly very wealthy people. Many of them do not raise their children like the rest of us. They pay other people to raise their kids.
  • 21
    Ali_Cat222 2 days ago But you just know in his mind the fact he paid for her air ticket and booked a room that he thinks that's payment enough that she should be grateful for... I have met nannies before that work for people like OP and this is how most of them say OP thinks like whenever they have to work couples vacations. YTA

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